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A Cruise for Marie Antoinette

 

A 140-night world cruise on Regent Seven Seas has a deal fit for a queen, and at such eye-watering prices that you'd have to eat more than cake to sign up for it.

Prices start just over $180,000 for a couple in the cheapest cabin, and go all the way up to $1.7 million per couple for the Regent Suite. (Yes, today is April 1st, but they're not fooling.) But if that tempts you, you have a while to raise the cash—the 71-port, 40-country, 6-continent tour with 480 included shore excursions doesn't sail until January 11, 2027.

Oh, and don't worry about stocking up on snacks; Regent Seven Seas will be ready with six and a half tons (yes, tons) of lobster, seven tons of filet mignon, 3,600 pounds of smoked salmon, 150 pounds (is that all?) of caviar and 58,000 bottles of wine and champagne.

Passengers will all get first-class airfare, unlimited valet laundry, door-to-door luggage service and a "commemorative gift" (in addition to the bill).

If you're still undecided about that Regent Suite, here are some of the details: The lavish 4,443-square-foot suite sits on the ship's 14th deck and features 270-degree views from its 1,300 square-foot wraparound veranda. The suite also has an in-suite spa retreat with a personal sauna, steam room, and jacuzzi; original Picasso artworks adorning the walls, a custom Steinway Grand Maroque Piano by Dakota Jackson and a hand-crafted Hästens Vividus mattress worth over $200,000. If, of course, you can imagine how a mattress could be worth $200,000.

Bon Voyage!

The best part of every trip is realizing that it has upset your expectations

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